Hey, guess what? Last night I finally got a chance to run my first heroic. And I’m really not sure how I felt about it. While I’ve been excited to get my gear level up, I’ve also been a bit worried about heroics and have been dreading them in a way. All I’ve read for the past month is how hard they are and how long they take. Plus I have a fear of pugs. They’re not usually the best environment for a non-confident healer with an inferiority complex. I logged in too late to bother my friends, so I bucked up and used the dungeon finder. Except that I kind of cheated and didn’t do a random. I chose the Lost City of Tol’vir because 90% of my random normals over the past 6 weeks have put me there and it’s the instance I’m most confident in. I know that place inside and out. Which is a testament to how I’ve upped my game since Cata released because I’ve never known any place inside and out before. True story.
After a few minutes of waiting, I finally get to zone in. I’m completely prepared – I’m in the right spec, I’m not wearing any of my fishing gear, I’ve got a stack of severed sagefish heads, 20 flasks of the draconic mind, 20 scrolls of intellect IX, fully repaired, every bit of gear enchanted, gemmed and reforged. I AM READY. The group seems to be okay, everyone takes the time to say hello to each other. At the first trash pull there’s a discussion of marks and cc. Okay, this isn’t so bad. I can do this. We advance to General Husam and about halfway through the fight (which is keeping me on my toes more than I expected) I get a few seconds of healer tunnel vision and didn’t move away from an exploding yellow trap quick enough. I died. Quickly. I immediately release and run back. Thankfully the mage in the group had given me some food, so after I made it back to the scene of the fight and no one else was dead, I sat down for a couple of seconds and munched on some food. I was about 50% health and mana when I jumped up, hit inervate and started spamming wild growths and rejuve. Yep, muscle memory from the old days. Luckily it worked just enough to let them down the boss with no one else dying. I immediately said “great job guys”, but no one else said anything. I realize I should have never died in the first place, but was it wrong to think someone should have acknowledged the fact that I was quick enough to run back and keep on keeping on?
Anyway, we trudged on and had no issues with any of the next fights. Then we get to Siamat, the final boss. We started out good, but when the adds started coming I began getting some aggro. Luckily, I can still throw hots while running, so I just ran and tossed, ran and tossed. There were a few times the tank was running the opposite way of me and I had to chase him down, but he never got in any trouble. I would lose aggro for a few seconds, then a whirlpool would form on top of my ass and I’d have to run again…. straight into more aggro. Now I’m throwing rejuvs on myself and the dps but I’ve got the tank topped off and I’m keeping him there. I’ve used inervate because, yes, I am wasting mana topping him off like that. We’ve got Siamat down to under 10%, I drink a mana potion. We’re hanging in there just fine, but one of the dps starts to slip away from me. He’s briefly out of range, I run towards him. I miss. He dies. Not 3 seconds later Siamat is down and the achievement for my first heroic pops across my screen. That’s when I notice party chat. I had been so busy concentrating I hadn’t seen it before. The guy that died at the end of the fight because he was out of range? He’s not the one complaining about heals. The one complaining lived through it all. Nobody else died (except for me) the entire instance and it ended with a discussion about how I wasn’t healing right. Sigh. This is why I’m a non-confident healer with an inferiority complex.
I’m gonna keep doing heroics though. It’s the only way I’ll improve.