Recently, a friend of mine asked for volunteers to read something she wrote and give their opinion on it. I volunteered, but she politely refused my help, stating I was “too nice”. The “too nice” statement didn’t actually upset me at all, but it did nag at my brain a bit. How can being too nice be grounds for exclusion? I became sort of fascinated with that line of thinking. I mean, just because I’m nice doesn’t mean I won’t be honest in my opinions. I’m sure she was probably just thinking that because I’m so damn nice, my opinion for her would be something similar to “you are a big meanie”. But see, I don’t think that would have held true. I would have given her an opinion on her writing, not her content. Her content is her choice. Whether it was easy to follow, flowed good, was coherent, etc. – that I could have given an opinion on. I pondered over this for a few minutes and decided I didn’t like being too nice for her needs. She was my friend and I wanted to be able to help her out when she asked for it. I noticed she was available on gtalk so I spent the next several minutes half-heartedly trying to convince her I was actually an asshole. I’m pretty sure she didn’t buy it because I never did get to read her writing thingy before it was published. But the whole little innocent incident started my brain to thinking about how I’m apparently getting soft in my old age.
The next morning after work (I, unfortunately, work the graveyard shift), as I lay down to go to sleep and snuggled up all warm and cuddly in my bed, I became aware of something I had never really noticed before. My eyes were closed, I felt content and I was smiling like I had just won a million dollars. Smiling. In bed. Fucking happy as a clam in a… how does this saying go?… bucket of … clams?… that are not about to be eaten, that would be bad… a bucket of clams that just fell overboard… no… happy as a clam in a blanket? I was pretty damn happy and clams would have been jealous, let’s just leave it at that. In fact, I have noticed every morning since then that as soon as I get snuggled in and cozy in bed, I have a huge smile spread across my goofy face. So I began paying attention over the next several days and I’ll be damn if I wasn’t happy through 99.9% of everything. When did this sneak up on me? I mean, there are still people I simply don’t care for. There are still things that piss me off. I do still get upset. But I’ve noticed that I always end up laughing (usually at myself, I am my own biggest fan) in just a matter of minutes and that when I speak it comes out all soothing and gentle. It seems I have, indeed, gone soft.
Need more evidence? This weekend I rolled a new toon and I am ridiculously giddy about it. She’s a Dwarf Paladin. Lololol. How hawt is that? Turns out, not very hot at all because Dwarfs just aren’t made to be hot. But she is as cute as a freaking bug and I giggled through 10 levels with her yesterday. In fact, I’ve giggled about her at work all night too. Years ago I swore I’d never roll a Dwarf and now I have one and I’m in love with her.
So, why am I puking sunshine and rainbows all over the interwebz? Because there’s been some debating going on around the blogosphere and it’s led to a bit of drama and some not-so-happy exchanges of comments. And I have read
all of it most of it and while I can see where I think some people are more right and some people are more wrong… I just want to say I love you all and I’m glad we live in a time and place where we have the freedoms to express ourselves and exchange ideas and opinions with others. Try not to get too personal with it, keep your self-respect and your respect for each other. And don’t ever stop debating; for that would mean you stopped caring.