Yesterday I wrote an unplanned post about how I just don’t seem to be too focused when I’m logged into WoW. It was prompted by hearing patch 5.2 will be dropping very soon and I just jotted it all down in about 5 minutes based off the emotions the patch news triggered with me. The post got a bit more attention than my posts normally do and I just wanted to take a quick moment to assure everyone, I do enjoy this game and I do have a hell of a lot of fun even when I’m not accomplishing anything. It wasn’t intended to be a complaint, just sort of a “lol, seriously where does the time go” realization. The problem is not that I don’t have fun or that I feel I must be somehow progressing to validate even bothering to play. The problem is I want to do all of the things. I have always been this way in all areas of my life. If you put any faith into astrology, you could chalk it up to the fact that I’m a Virgo.
I am 100% just like that (minus the whole working out thing… while I do have a storehouse of information about diet and health I haven’t quite gotten myself to use it on me). I am a perfectionist. I am a worrywart. I LIVE to serve. That doesn’t mean in the menial sense of fetching you drinks while you lounge on the couch (though I absolutely do tend to wait on people hand and foot to the point of annoying them) but more in a “whatever you may need, I will do my best to provide you with it” kind of way. I believe I can solve everyone’s problem by applying my logic to it and I want to solve problems for people. Except math problems. Get the fuck away from me with your math. Ugh.
The servitude thing is why I spend a lot of time picking shiny flowers to send to friends for flasks, or put in the guild bank for raid flasks even though I’m not on the raiding team. The perfectionist thing is why I jump from one activity to another one every 15 minutes, because I want to be good at pet battles, transmogs, gold-making, dps’ing, etc. all at once. When I am struggling a bit being good at something, like dps’ing, it really hurts my feelings and I tend to begin to worry about it. Yep, I’m a worrywart. Ask Alas, she can tell you. This worrying will build up and frustrate me and if I don’t feel like I’m resolving the issue then I will simply start to avoid it. Which is why I am so hesitant to actually run heroics and had avoided LFR while desperately wanting to jump in there all at the same time.
Luckily I have people in my life who know me well enough to understand I don’t act this way to be a pain in their ass, but because it’s who I am and no matter how badly I want to, I can’t control it. Which is exactly why after Kimber read yesterday’s post she was the first to leave a comment and tell me she was dragging my ass through LFR. And she totally did. We did Mogu’shan Vaults 1 & 2 and Heart of Fear 1 & 2. I would have loved to do Terrace of Endless Spring as well, but unfortunately I ran out of time and had to get ready for work. It was awesome. Kim hopped into Skype with me so she could give me some helpful hints or answer my questions without either of us bothering with push to talk. In our first group, the raid wiped once on Gara’jal the Spiritbinder but that was my only death the entire night. We one shot everyone else. It was bloody brilliant. I am assuming from all the bad things I hear about LFR groups that we just happened to get very lucky with some good runs. I’m glad we did, because my confidence needed it. I didn’t top the meters by any stretch of the imagination but I also didn’t come in at the bottom. Most importantly, not once did anyone call me a douchebag, or yell at me to do something different, or anything of the sort. I had sort of expected to witness general trolling and asshattery from everyone towards everyone, but really all 4 groups were very quiet and did their shit right. We did have 1 guy get kicked for needing on a blue trinket, but I didn’t vote to kick him so it was out of my control.
All in all it was a brilliant night. I had a lot more fun than I expected, the fights weren’t as hard as I expected, and douchebaggery wasn’t as evident as I expected. Plus I got to spend a few hours making as much fun of Kim as I could. I even got a few good drops and my ilvl is now at 180 so I am actually able to get into the new, upcoming LFR as soon as it’s enabled. BONUS! The drops I got last night were Spaulders of the Divided Mind, Fragment of Fear Made Flesh, and Light of the Cosmos.
All in all yesterday was excellent. Big thanks to my friend, Kim for helping me realize I actually can do LFR and big thanks to everyone who read yesterday’s post and left comments for me and retweeted it. You guys all rock!