Dear Mr. Bipolar Dude,
My guild is fairly small and with all of us living in different time zones and working different hours, it can be difficult to gather up an “all guild” heroic run. But you are a friend of one of my fellow officers so when I logged in and got an immediate invite from you and 3 of my guildies who were partied up and ready to queue for a heroic, I was very excited.
My main spec is Resto but because of the difficulty of heroics combined with the asshattery of most players in a pug, I generally queue as dps. But of course I agreed to heal for you guys, it’s basically an all-guild run. You aren’t in the guild, but we hear about you all the time from the mutual friend we have; we have even ran a few of the classic raids with you lately. So while I haven’t actually spoken to you much, I feel like I can trust you to not be an asshat.
Clearly I didn’t read you right. Or did I? The heroic was not fun, thanks mainly to you. But while you were completely pissing me off with your behavior and the way you were talking in party chat, you were also whispering me and being nice and funny and offering me advice. What. The. Hell. Dude? I’m going to guess it’s because I’m female that you were trying to charm me privately; or maybe because our mutual friend told you to be nice to me. It was bizarre and I still honestly don’t know if I like you or not.
Of course, whether I like you or not has nothing to do with the fact that I will not allow you to be in a group with me again and speak to my guildies the way you did. The tank that night was one of Azzah’s alts and Azzah is one of the most knowledgeable players you will find in-game. He plays both factions, he’s an altoholic, he loves to theorycraft, the guy is a damn genius. As the tank, he was more than capable of guiding us through the instance and making any pertinent decisions. But he’s also a nice guy and when it became instantly obvious that you were going to be in charge of things, he kept his mouth shut and just tanked his ass off. He did not need you to tell him when to pull and where to pull, etc. but he let you do so.
The hunter we had with us is new to level 85, new to heroics and likes our guild because we support him and help him learn without feeling like a failure. Like all toons in WoW, his character has a name. We all call him by his name when we speak to him. It’s the way decent human beings talk to other human beings. When you started out saying things like “hunter, trap blue” and “hunter, stand here”, I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you were just typing in shorthand to be more efficient. But you never stopped calling him hunter, you never once used his name, and when I started seeing things like “HUNTER DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR TRAPS?” and “HUNTER!!! Why don’t you have a better pet?” I became more than a little pissed off. The usually quiet Elfi who hates to stir the pot or cause any bad feelings in any way found herself typing “Pel has a name and we would all appreciate it if you would call him by his name” into party chat. I was shocked I did it, but it was important to me to call you out on this. You actually ignored my statement, didn’t respond to it in any way. However, a few minutes later you initiated a vote to kick Pel from our group and the reason you entered was “jerk”. The vote didn’t pass…. did you forget that everyone but you was from the same guild? Poor little Pel was doing nothing more than trying to learn the fights and having you yell at him repeatedly. How exactly does that make him the jerk? We were only a little over halfway through the instance when Pel told us he needed to log off. I haven’t had the chance to talk to him since, but I have a sneaking feeling he left because he couldn’t take anymore of your abuse.
As for me, one of the first things I said as we zoned in was “I’ve only dps’d this heroic once and I’ve never healed it. You will have to tell me if there’s any special mechanics on boss fights”. I thought I was talking to the tank, my buddy, because I hadn’t yet realized you were gonna take over. Either way, it’s a pretty simple statement to understand. No, I do not spend time studying boss fights for heroics. You can judge me for that if you want to, but I have too much other stuff going on in my life. I do read up on gear and enchants and class changes, etc. and I read a whole list of WoW blogs and WoW Insider on a daily basis, so I’m not a complete moron who needs my hand held through everything. Maybe if I were pugging every day I would consider studying boss fights but when I’m with guildmates it’s just a quick “this guy casts flaming cocktails, you will need to jump over them and then run back to the bar” and off we go. (Mmmm… flaming cocktails. Now I want a drink. I’m pretty sure if someone was throwing flaming cocktails at me, I would not avoid them.) But you just ran up to each boss and yelled “PULL NOW” at the tank and didn’t bother to find out if the rest of us knew the fight or not.
We got pretty lucky through the first few that there wasn’t anything too difficult about the encounters; but eventually we got to a few bosses where a bit of instruction was necessary. After the first wipe you said “YOU HAVE TO JUMP WHEN HE CASTS FLAMING COCKTAILS” and so we all jumped at the right time… and then wiped again after jumping. You got mad and said “AFTER YOU JUMP YOU HAVE TO RUN BACK TO THE BAR”, so we all jumped and ran to the bar, jumped and ran to the bar, jumped and ran to the bar and killed the boss. Thanks for wasting our time asshole. You could have said both sentences before the fight or at least both of them after the first wipe. Also, you need to see about fixing your caps lock button before I rip mine off of my keyboard, track you down irl and shove it up your nose.
Two hours later and we finally get it done. I’ve never been so eager to disband a group in my life. I can’t even explain to you how absolutely enraged you made me. Being disrespectful of people, going batshit insane on everyone for every tiny little mistake. You even yelled at me to “heal faster and get that poison off of everyone”… have I mentioned yet that you are a Boomkin and can abolish poison with the exact same effing spell I use? And all the while you had been whispering me and being friendly. I’ve never experienced anything like it. You even continued whispering me after the game and we had a nice little chat. Part of my brain was chuckling at the jokes you were whispering while the other part of my brain was picturing me stabbing you in the eye. Worst part is, since we are both really good friends with a mutual person I am quite sure I will be seeing you around more and more. I sure wish I knew whether I liked you or not.